Today Glen and I took a young couple out to lunch. They are candidates for a new position our church is considering. It was a interesting time, talking and hearing about their lives. They are in their very early twenties and will graduate from Olivet Nazarene University in May. They will also be getting married in May as well. As I sat there and listened to them talk, I was quickly brought back to my early twenties, getting ready to marry Glen. I began to relive moments when Glen and I felt like we had the world at our feet. I thought about how far God has brought us in marriage and ministry.
It's weird, there was a part of me that was relieved that we weren't there anymore and just how humbled I felt to be where we are at in life. I also felt like most of the big anticipations in life have happened... it didn't make me sad, but happy. I feel comfortable. Not stale or complacent, just comfortable. I like the feeling of being settled.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade those early days of marriage for anything. But it wasn't all roses. "The two shall become one," it wasn't an easy task. We had our share of joy and crisis. We had love and not much else. It was a huge learning curve for both of us. We had to learn how to fight fair. We had to learn not to bring our past into our future. We had to learn to make it on our own. We had to face the unknown without our parents. We loved learning how to have fun together. We loved learning how much fun it was to make up. We loved learning what God's will was for our life together.
We're still learning...we're still loving...we're still enjoying each other. I am so thankful for Glen. The running joke with my mom and dad is that they are the only two people in the world that can put up with one another. I'd say that was true of Glen and I as well. He puts up with my quirks and he tries really hard to be patient with me.
Marriage is a funny thing, it's mysterious and all knowing at the same time. I felt a sense of excitement for that young couple. Not for all the hoopla that comes from the wedding day, but for all the adventure that comes after.
2 comments:
The past seems so far away for me. I don't even remember how I felt when I first got married. I wish I had such wonderful memories as you, Tav. I honestly can not relate to any of the emotions you described. The happy side to this is that we are now starting to discover all those things we should have felt in our younger years. I believe our marriage is becoming stronger every year as we continue to learn about who each others true self is. In a couple weeks we will be celebrating 15 years of marriage. I feel like that is a drop in the bucket and that we still have so much to learn about being married and about each other. Now that we have added kids to the mix it really is an adventure. I think it is an advantage that we are older because what little wisdom age has given us makes us aware that we must tend to our marriage more carefully now. It is so easy to let the kids distract me from paying attention to him. Already there is a gap that needs closing because of the insanity around here. Days go by without a hug or a tender word and it scares me that it takes me so much time to realize that I have let him fall through the cracks. It doesn't matter how much time you spend in marriage it still needs daily tending. I'm afraid I've let mine go, along with the backyard and laundry..... I am blessed to have such an understanding husband. I'm glad there is a new sunrise each day to take to the tools and begin tending what God has so graciously given. I'm glad it is never too late to feel like newlyweds. I want to bring excitement and tenderness back to the front burner in our relationship. It really is the desire of my heart.
M
I've been in both seasons in my marriage. There have been times when I have lovingly stared at my husband and thought I was going to burst at the seams with admiration of him....others I have looked at him and thought - is he my husband or my roommate? I'm very thankful that the "love" moments far outweigh the "rommate" moments and regardless of what moment we are traveling through I can without a doubt say that he is a very good man and I am very blessed to have him in my life.
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