Remember when...

Today Glen and I took a young couple out to lunch.  They are candidates for a new position our church is considering.  It was a interesting time, talking and hearing about their lives.  They are in their very early twenties and will graduate from Olivet Nazarene University in May.  They will also be getting married in May as well.  As I sat there and listened to them talk, I was quickly brought back to my early twenties, getting ready to marry Glen.  I began to relive moments when Glen and I felt like we had the world at our feet.  I thought about how far God has brought us in marriage and ministry.    

It's weird, there was a part of me that was relieved that we weren't there anymore and just how humbled I felt to be where we are at in life.  I also felt like most of the big anticipations in life have happened... it didn't make me sad, but happy.  I feel comfortable.  Not stale or complacent, just comfortable.  I like the feeling of being settled.  

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade those early days of marriage for anything.  But it wasn't all roses.  "The two shall become one," it wasn't an easy task.  We had our share of joy and crisis.  We had love and not much else.  It was a huge learning curve for both of us.  We had to learn how to fight fair.  We had to learn not to bring our past into our future.  We had to learn to make it on our own.  We had to face the unknown without our parents.  We loved learning how to have fun together.  We loved learning how much fun it was to make up.  We loved learning what God's will was for our life together.  

We're still learning...we're still loving...we're still enjoying each other.  I am so thankful for Glen.  The running joke with my mom and dad is that they are the only two people in the world that can put up with one another.  I'd say that was true of Glen and I as well.  He puts up with my quirks and he tries really hard to be patient with me.  

Marriage is a funny thing, it's mysterious and all knowing at the same time.  I felt a sense of excitement for that young couple.  Not for all the hoopla that comes from the wedding day, but for all the adventure that comes after.

 

  

The List

When I was in youth group which now seems like at least one hundred years ago, I distinctively remember a night that Ron had taken us girls into the parish house conference room for a talk. When I say girls, its because there weren't many boys in our group at the time. We all sat around the table and he began to discuss the importance of making a list of the qualities we were looking for in a husband.  Then he said we should never settle for anything less than what was on it.  I'm sure there was a lot more spiritual significance to the talk, but all I remember hearing was to make as list of the qualities I wanted in the man I would marry.  I went home that night and tore open my journal and stuck the list inside.  Over time I built my list up to 61 items.  I was proud of it.  

Years later I met Glen and by the time we were wed, he had met all 61 requirements.  I've shared this story with most all the girls I've run across in my 13 years of ministry.  I add in the spiritual aspect as I now believe Ron probably had and I witness some of those girls faces lighting up.  About 6 years ago I spoke to our youth group girls about it, to my pleasant surprise one really took to heart what I was talking about.  Her name is Keira and she is a lovely young women.  I thought I would share with you a paper she wrote for English on the subject.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Keira Stewart

Mrs. Peterson

Eng. Comp. 101

Journal #6

Fergus

He might have bright blue eyes that are stunning and ethereal.  Or maybe his eyes are green.  His hair might be chestnut, or it might be red!  He is taller than me; his chin can rest on the top of my head.  He is loyal, faithful, trustworthy and considerate.  He is exceedingly smart.  I am often amazed by his cleverness and by his bright, witty humor.  His smile radiates warmth and honesty.  He is respectful, honorable, and gracious.  Most importantly, he loves the Lord and puts God before everything – even before me. His name is Fergus McRae and he is my soul mate.

When I was in sixth or seventh grade, one of my youth leaders named Tavia presented an interesting idea to the girls in my youth group.  She told us that she believed that all girls should make a list of qualities that we would want to be present in the man that we would marry.  She told us that, before she was married, she made a list of everything she wanted in a husband.  She had sixty-one items on her list.  The man she married (my youth pastor) met all of the items on her list except one:  he could not drive a stick shift.  After they were married, Tavia got in a really bad car accident and so they had to use another car.  The car they had to employ was a manual and my youth pastor had to learn how to drive it.  That meant that he met the missing quality from the list!  So technically, her husband was, eventually, everything she wanted.  She told us her story so we could that we could understand the usefulness and importance of having a “list.”  She explained to us that girls should make a list to verbalize and conceptualize their ideals.  When they begin dating or searching for a potential mate, it will not be as easy to settle for less than they deserve, this way.  My personal list contains “negotiables” and “non-negotiables.”  What color his hair and eyes are is not that important.  I may have a preference, but those things are not deal-breakers.  I call them “negotiables.”  Qualities dealing with his character and believe systems are “non-negotiables.”  They are not debatable.  A man that does not have a non-negotiable quality does not even become a candidate (even if his eyes are stunning and even if he does have rich chestnut hair). 

One day, during my freshman year, I named my list of qualities, “Fergus.” I liked that name.  I also gave him a last name: McRae.  Keira McRae – it flows.  My friend Brianna says, “You can’t just pick your husband’s name!”

“Why, not?” I say.  I laugh because I know she is right.  It is sort of silly.  Creating a list is not silly, however.  My youth leader, Tavia, completely changed the way I look at dating.  I am almost eighteen and I have never had a boyfriend.  All my friends know that I am very picky and would not choose just anyone to date.  They know that I am waiting for someone who has “Fergus-potential” and they know that I refuse to invest that kind of time into someone who the “list” obviously does not describe.

       While I am waiting for Fergus, I have time to work on my own character.  I have time to make friends, build relationships, and develop my own personality.  I have time to grow in my relationship with God and learn to put him above everything else – even Fergus.  I have time to make sure that I would be a suitable mate for someone else.  

The idea of the “list” was one of the most wonderful things I have ever heard.  I wish all more girls could have learned the lesson Tavia taught us that day.  Maybe it would give them the kind of hope and peace that it gave me.   

After reading this I was blown away that she had spent the last few years working on the list.  I began to realize that what Ron had shared on what seemed an insignificant wednesday night was actually very significant, it set me on a course for life and inturn has influenced generations to come.  Keira's life has been forever changed and she will add to the significance of that night long long ago.  Some of the younger girls have begun their lists and often bring their journals to show me what they have added and what they have crossed off.  We laugh together and I love to dream with them about their lives to come. You just never know what kind of impact you will have on someone else's life.  It makes me realize the responsibility we all have in the small moments God gives us, I hope I don't let them pass me by.    

What a haircut will do...

When I was a little girl I had very long hair.  It hit around the waist and was so pretty.  Well at least in my mind it was.  My mother would tell me to brush it 100 times on each side every night.  One night too many I must have disobeyed her because she took me to the barbershop the next day and got me the worst butch boy haircut you have ever seen.  I remember crying my eyes out.  I absolutely missed my long hair and absolutely hated my new hairdo.  To this day I can't figure out why my mother took me to a barbershop and not a hair salon.  I don't know if it was out of complete frustration or because I was her first girl and she didn't know any better.  All I know is it set me on a path of disappointment every time I got my hair cut.  I don't know how many tears I've shed over the years, but I must have cried a river.  

You would think that I needed extensive therapy, but I eventually got over it and now I really enjoy getting my hair cut.  Maybe its because I have four children and I can go there and escape or maybe its because I always leave feeling like my hair belongs on some beautiful model, but none the less I never leave without glee.

I enjoy the whole experience.  I enjoy getting my hair washed (I especially appreciated this when I was 9+ months pregnant four times), I love the salon banter and talk.  I like to watch other women come in shaggy and leave beautiful and I really like my hair stylist.  She has great women working with her and she always seems interested in my life.  When you are an at-home mom you really value adult conversation.

SO...whenever I flip through magazines I always see the "before" and "after" pictures of women who have had a mini makeover.  I always laugh and say that the before picture is so overstated.  I thought it would be fun to take my picture as soon as I woke up this morning and one after my glorious redo.  I hope you laugh as much as I did.  I look like I got into a fight with my pillow and the pillow won.

Flying Home

On the way home from Florida I was gazing out the window while my children quietly complimented each other and played nicely together and my husband recited love poems to me (if you believe that, just stop reading because I want you to think that is how our road trips go).  Anyway, I saw thousands of geese flying north.  At first I thought that there was just a large group of them, but as I continued to watch for the next hour there were literally thousands of geese migrating back home.  I commented to Glen, but he was busy watching the road (and reciting love sonnets) that he could only take a peek.  I watched as each group worked to make a V pattern and it amazed me how time and time again they would take turns across the sky.  Since then I've seen them twice,  yesterday on our drive to the Quad Cities and I saw more heading the same way doing the same thing and then again today while we were picking up the boys from school we saw a couple hundred of them.  I kept saying, "It seems too cold for them to be flying back already,"  but they instinctively know where to go and when.  It reminded me of our trip home.  We were in Florida for a season, but it was time to come home.  Glen and I took turns at the wheel leading the way home when the other was tired.  When we're in Florida we have family and friends to help, but when we leave we depend on each other, helping one another and even trying to understand each other.  It doesn't always look as nicely choreographed as the geese, but we make it work. 

Trading this for that? We must be a little crazy?

  

Are we a little nuts?  Yes we are.  We know it.  How do you trade sunshine for snow and ice?  It's a God thing.  We've known it all along and times like these, we're reminded that God has a sense of humor.  We absolutely miss Florida, miss family and miss friends.  We can leave the heat, the traffic and the hustle and bustle of big cities.  We absolutely love our church family, our partnership with Ron and Cinda and our school.  We could live without the freezing cold, snow, ice, lack of a great mall and the fact that it takes at least 18 hours to get to Florida and 31 to get to Oregon.  So it is an uneven balance that is consistently changing.  When were in Florida or Oregon the scale tips towards wanting a life that includes the daily grind with our families.  When were home the scale tips toward the fact that we are in the center of God's will for our lives and the sense of peace and joy we find here.  

But no matter where we are, we always feel our families' and friends' love... so even on the coldest of nights we find warmth.    

Evan's Triumph!

Evan never gave up!  He kept trying until

he got it.  There's even a climatic ending.

Way to go Buddy!

We're Home!!!

We got home around 5 pm this evening and when we put the kids down at 8 - they were out in 2 minutes or less.  The boys didn't want to sleep in their room tonight so I let them sleep in our office - on the futon.  As I sit here typing there is a symphony of snoring going on behind me.  That's Evan on the left and Jaron is under Goofy on the right - and you can't see Ethan because he is curled up under the blanket, but its a 3 brass band behind me singing me a lullaby.

When we pulled up to our house we caught some of our friends from church hanging a big banner and balloons welcoming us home.  It was nice to see smiling faces and be reminded that we were missed.  

So now the unpacking begins...  Have you ever noticed that unpacking takes just as long, if not longer than packing?  I'm sure I will have something to say about it in the next few days.  But I guess for now, I'll catch some zzzzzzzzz.  Goodnight.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

A picture is worth a thousand words...

Glen has told me time and time again about how this experience has changed him. Changed his outlook, changed his perspective and taught him a hundred different things.

He has truly enjoyed his time working on this production and I am so happy that he has had this time as well. It was a dream come true for him to work on the production side of a film and now he can say he has accomplished that.

Above is a picture of him with Mira Sorvino, she is in costume and makeup. (If you look closely you can see that she is bruised and battered.) He had a chance in conversation to tell her that he didn't know much about her professional resume but what he was impressed by was Mira's mothering of her two young children.

He has had a lot of one on one conversations with the people on the set and it has iginited the importance of relationships and sharing his faith.

I had the chance to sit down with L. Scott Caldwell (Scotti) today and chat for a little while today. She is the actress from LOST. We had a few good laughs and it was something I will remember for the rest of my life. I believe that we may have the opportunity to stay in touch with one another. My little contribution to the project.

So we have lots of stories to tell and can't wait to share them with whoever is interested. We are beginning to gather and organize and get ready for the trip home. It is bittersweet. We miss everyone, but at the same token we would easily stay a few more weeks. They still have a couple weeks of production left and Glen feels torn because he likes to see things to completion. But he also feels very excited about Soul Survivor because he has learned things that will carry over into the camp setting. SO, where does that leave us....Sad to go, but glad to start the new adventure that waits.

If we're leaving you...we will miss you and we're sorry to leave. If you are waiting for us...we're almost home and we can't wait to see you. We love you all!!!

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!!!

Today was the big day. I was reluctant to be on the big screen, but the boys really wanted to be in it, so....Jaron, Evan, Lydia and I had our movie debut all day long. (Ethan stayed close to dad and helped him out.) We got to the airport at 9am and played the hurry up and wait game. We got to walk up and down the corridor acting like we were arriving home from a long trip. The boys were initially very excited and they finished strong. I was very impressed with how quiet they could be under pressure. (I should carry around a movie camera.) Lydia did great. She was quiet all the way up until the last two takes. She decided she wanted her shoes off, which had velcro. Opps! Then she decided before the last take to start singing. I quickly patted her mouth and said, "SHHHH". To my surprise it worked. A couple of hours later while we were on "Stand by" and soon-to-be mom came up to me and said she was totally impressed that I got my two year old to be quiet just by telling her to "SHHH". I laughed, "Yeah, I'm a supermom, didn't you know?" Then I went on to tell her that my secret was simply a wish and a prayer. But it did make me think about how much people observe you. Needless to say, the kids and I had a "good day" and we made on mark on film.

The biggest perk was that we got to be with Glen for most of the day and see him in action. I am routinely amazed by his hard work and dedication. But it was fun to see him at work, no matter what he does, it is evident that he is doing it for the Lord. He inspires me. I'm so glad to be his wife.

So our 15 minutes of fame was fun. Jaron said that he had fun, but he thinks he likes 'theater" better. As we were leaving, (at 5 pm by the way) Lydia said out of the blue, "thank you, mommy! I'm not sure why she said it, but it prompted the boys to say it as well. It was a day they'll never forget.

A Weekend With Auntie Crystal

Mom, the kids and I set out for a weekend with my sister Crystal. We had a great time and got to do a lot of fun things with her. We went to the Bay and had a picnic, we went to her church which is held in an IMPROV comedy club and we went to MOSI (Museum of Science and Industry). Lydia even gathered a crowd as she paraded around in the tutu that Auntie Crystal gave her. Even with all the excitement - the best part was just being together. The boys got to have a sleepover at Crystal's house and they were thrilled. It was the highlight of the weekend. Ethan cried for a half an hour after we left because he wanted to stay longer, given the option, he might have just stayed there for a while. We had a great time. Can't you tell?